Hello!!
I know you can see me.
It's because I can see you too.
I see you enter the room,
and avert your gaze.
I notice your tense muscles as you approach.
And I see those same muscles relax after;
after you think that you're past me
and safe.
But I still see it.
I see it because you aren't the only one.
I've danced this dance,
countless times before.
It comes with the territory.
I should get mad or frustrated,
but instead it makes me sad.
Your fear has made us strangers,
and I'll never get to show you things.
Important things, like how I don't bite
and that I'm not contagious.
But for now, I'll just let you be.
I'll let you stand for an hour
on legs that are probably tired
You have made your choice;
fear over comfort.
But if you choose to work past it;
work past the fear.
I know where you can find comfort.
It's by a guy who isn't contagious,
and he doesn't bite.
And you might even find out
that he's just like you.
You can't miss him.
Just look for the empty seat.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wrote this poem after an experience I had on Wednesday. I was at a meeting, and I watched person after person walk right past me, because they didn't want to sit in the empty chair next to me. Many of these people ended up standing, and I had this open seat next to me the WHOLE TIME!
Unfortunately this has happened to me a lot in the past. This would happen a lot on the school bus--especially if I didn't have any of my friends on the bus.
It usually doesn't bother me, but the incident on Wednesday ended up bothering me more than usual, for some reason.
March 27, 2009
March 26, 2009
Paranoia
So I was sitting in my classroom today during my prep hour, getting ready for my next class to come in, and the phone rang. On the caller id I saw that it was our building secretary. I picked up the phone, said hello, and our secretary said the following, "Kevin, Joe needs you to stop by his office before you leave school today." So I told her that I would be sure to do it, and I hung up the phone.
Now before I go any further, I want to let you know that Joe is the head principal at my school. So, just like the students, I got worried about the prospect of being "called to the office." Now I do my job, and I think I do it well, but one can never be sure.
The only other time in my teaching career that I have ever been called to the office is when I was a middle school teacher. The assistant principal called me down, and I was nervous then too. I remember entering his office and seeing one of our assistant superintendents already seated in his office...and that's never a good sign.
They had bad news for me. They told me that the school district was cutting middle school business the following year, but they were going to transfer me to the high school. In hindsight, this was a great thing to happen to me, but I digress.
So after I hung up the phone, the wheels in my brain started turning at a frenetic pace. I started taking a mental inventory of everything that I had done, or negelected to do, in my recent past. Fortunately, I wasn't able to think of anything big, but I was still left wondering.
At that exact moment, my 5th hour students started streaming in. I wasn't really in a mood to deal with a class, but I put my "game-face" on, and I got them started on their warm-up activity. Fortunately 5th hour is a good class, so they got to work right away.
I opened up the adjoining door that I share with another teacher, and I went into her empty classroom for a second. I told her about my impending visit to Joe, and she replied that it was probably nothing. I agreed with her, but those were just words. In reality, I was nervous and paranoid.
At school we have a 7-period day, and each teacher teaches five classes. My two hours off each day are 3rd and 4th. We normally have meetings that fill up one of those two hours, and then we have an hour to ourselves. With that being said, one of the things that frustrated me most about the call, is that it had arrived at the end of my two hours of prep time! I was going to have to wait until the end of the day to find out what Joe wanted.
But, I knew that I couldn't wait until the end of the day. So I planned to go visit him during my lunch break, after my 5th hour class. So, after dismissing my 5th hour class, I made a beeline for the main office. The whole time that I was rolling to the office, I was still racking my brain to try to figure out what the principal wanted.
Well to make a long story short, I went into his office, and he closed the door behind me. That only made the worry and panic set in even more. But thankfully I soon realized that my last hour of worry had all been in vain.
He asked me if I would be willing to serve on a district-wide committee about our attendance policy. I was pleasantly surprised that he was asking me to serve on this committee. Because, in my mind, that actually meant that he thought I was doing a good job, and I was very happy about that.
The meeting with Joe took about three minutes. It probably took longer than that for me to roll back to my classroom after the meeting. On the way back, I was thinking to myself about how silly it had been for me to get that worried about the meeting.
When I got back to my classroom, I told my coworker about my meeting. She's just laughed, because she had been right all along. I laughed too, and then I finally took a deep breath.
Now before I go any further, I want to let you know that Joe is the head principal at my school. So, just like the students, I got worried about the prospect of being "called to the office." Now I do my job, and I think I do it well, but one can never be sure.
The only other time in my teaching career that I have ever been called to the office is when I was a middle school teacher. The assistant principal called me down, and I was nervous then too. I remember entering his office and seeing one of our assistant superintendents already seated in his office...and that's never a good sign.
They had bad news for me. They told me that the school district was cutting middle school business the following year, but they were going to transfer me to the high school. In hindsight, this was a great thing to happen to me, but I digress.
So after I hung up the phone, the wheels in my brain started turning at a frenetic pace. I started taking a mental inventory of everything that I had done, or negelected to do, in my recent past. Fortunately, I wasn't able to think of anything big, but I was still left wondering.
At that exact moment, my 5th hour students started streaming in. I wasn't really in a mood to deal with a class, but I put my "game-face" on, and I got them started on their warm-up activity. Fortunately 5th hour is a good class, so they got to work right away.
I opened up the adjoining door that I share with another teacher, and I went into her empty classroom for a second. I told her about my impending visit to Joe, and she replied that it was probably nothing. I agreed with her, but those were just words. In reality, I was nervous and paranoid.
At school we have a 7-period day, and each teacher teaches five classes. My two hours off each day are 3rd and 4th. We normally have meetings that fill up one of those two hours, and then we have an hour to ourselves. With that being said, one of the things that frustrated me most about the call, is that it had arrived at the end of my two hours of prep time! I was going to have to wait until the end of the day to find out what Joe wanted.
But, I knew that I couldn't wait until the end of the day. So I planned to go visit him during my lunch break, after my 5th hour class. So, after dismissing my 5th hour class, I made a beeline for the main office. The whole time that I was rolling to the office, I was still racking my brain to try to figure out what the principal wanted.
Well to make a long story short, I went into his office, and he closed the door behind me. That only made the worry and panic set in even more. But thankfully I soon realized that my last hour of worry had all been in vain.
He asked me if I would be willing to serve on a district-wide committee about our attendance policy. I was pleasantly surprised that he was asking me to serve on this committee. Because, in my mind, that actually meant that he thought I was doing a good job, and I was very happy about that.
The meeting with Joe took about three minutes. It probably took longer than that for me to roll back to my classroom after the meeting. On the way back, I was thinking to myself about how silly it had been for me to get that worried about the meeting.
When I got back to my classroom, I told my coworker about my meeting. She's just laughed, because she had been right all along. I laughed too, and then I finally took a deep breath.
March 23, 2009
My "Thing"
Everyone has something in their life that separates them from everyone else. They have something that they can do better than most people, and this activity, etc. helps to define them. I found my "thing" a couple of years ago, and it has helped me in more ways than I ever thought possible.
Before I get to my personal example, I want to provide some other examples of what I am talking about. My mom is incredibly talented when it comes to sewing, quilting, embroidering, knitting, etc. She can do it all, and she loves producing amazing handmade items--especially for my nieces. My mom is also always learning new skills, and she's not content with being stagnant. It's not uncommon for her to quilt for awhile, then learn something else, and then go back to quilting. Maybe that's where I got my a.d.d from. :)
My dad is a tireless public servant. He has been on the local board of education for many years now, and it energizes him and gives him a great purpose. He has given so much of his time to the school district, and he has been responsible for shaping the district into what it is today. Dad has been retired for a couple of years now, and it's great to see him get so much from the board--especially since he is no longer working.
My brother has become a very accomplished runner. For a person that was never especially athletic growing up, he has become really talented at running. He consistently places near the top of his age group, and he is quite fast. He is actually going to be running in his first marathon in April, and I am really proud of him.
Finally, my sister is a phenomenal artist. She has so much ability, and she like my mother, has produced some beautiful work. She has always been talented at art--even from a very young age. I am in awe of her talent and the ease in which she produces her art, and I would be happy if I had 5% of her ability.
Now this sounds petty, and a little embarrassing, but my thing is...trivia. Yeah, I know that sounds strange. But discovering trivia nights, a couple of years ago, has given me more confidence, and it has actually proven to be quite profitable.
I have always had worthless crap in my head. I remember being good at trivial pursuit at a young age, and I've always been good at remembering thing. However, it was something I mostly did with my family.
A couple of years ago I found a local, weekly trivia night. It was then that I realized, that I guess I knew more about certain things than most other people. I had finally found a way to parlay my useless knowledge into something fun, and like I mentioned before...profitable.
The place that I usually go to has five separate rounds each night, and it is free to play. The winning team for each round receives a $10 gift card to the establishment. This might come off as sounding arrogant, but I know that my team and I will usually win at least one round per night. So at a bare minimum, we will have ten bucks taken off of our tab. I never thought that I was that competitive, but it really bothers me whenever we go 0-5 in a given night.
I usually play with a couple of other friends, but I am the one that supplies 90% of the answers. I don't mind, though, because even though I am competitive, we are ultimately there to have fun and be together.
My proudest trivia moment came when nobody else was able to come and I was by myself. I ended up winning all five rounds that night, and I won $50 in gift cards. :) I didn't really eat or drink anything that night either, so I ended up taking my parents out to dinner with my gift cards. It felt good to be able to do something like that for them.
Unfortunately I don't go to trivia as much as I used to in the past. The people that I usually play with aren't able to come as often anymore. That's ok. I understand that priorities change in life. It's actually good that I don't go every single week anymore, because I was starting to getting burned out on it.
As I mentioned before, needs something in their lives that is their "thing." I really had trouble writing this post, because I didn't want come across as sounding arrogant or conceited. However, I wanted to talk about my hobby. It truly has given me confidence, and it has given me something to be proud of. I'm very grateful for it.
Before I get to my personal example, I want to provide some other examples of what I am talking about. My mom is incredibly talented when it comes to sewing, quilting, embroidering, knitting, etc. She can do it all, and she loves producing amazing handmade items--especially for my nieces. My mom is also always learning new skills, and she's not content with being stagnant. It's not uncommon for her to quilt for awhile, then learn something else, and then go back to quilting. Maybe that's where I got my a.d.d from. :)
My dad is a tireless public servant. He has been on the local board of education for many years now, and it energizes him and gives him a great purpose. He has given so much of his time to the school district, and he has been responsible for shaping the district into what it is today. Dad has been retired for a couple of years now, and it's great to see him get so much from the board--especially since he is no longer working.
My brother has become a very accomplished runner. For a person that was never especially athletic growing up, he has become really talented at running. He consistently places near the top of his age group, and he is quite fast. He is actually going to be running in his first marathon in April, and I am really proud of him.
Finally, my sister is a phenomenal artist. She has so much ability, and she like my mother, has produced some beautiful work. She has always been talented at art--even from a very young age. I am in awe of her talent and the ease in which she produces her art, and I would be happy if I had 5% of her ability.
Now this sounds petty, and a little embarrassing, but my thing is...trivia. Yeah, I know that sounds strange. But discovering trivia nights, a couple of years ago, has given me more confidence, and it has actually proven to be quite profitable.
I have always had worthless crap in my head. I remember being good at trivial pursuit at a young age, and I've always been good at remembering thing. However, it was something I mostly did with my family.
A couple of years ago I found a local, weekly trivia night. It was then that I realized, that I guess I knew more about certain things than most other people. I had finally found a way to parlay my useless knowledge into something fun, and like I mentioned before...profitable.
The place that I usually go to has five separate rounds each night, and it is free to play. The winning team for each round receives a $10 gift card to the establishment. This might come off as sounding arrogant, but I know that my team and I will usually win at least one round per night. So at a bare minimum, we will have ten bucks taken off of our tab. I never thought that I was that competitive, but it really bothers me whenever we go 0-5 in a given night.
I usually play with a couple of other friends, but I am the one that supplies 90% of the answers. I don't mind, though, because even though I am competitive, we are ultimately there to have fun and be together.
My proudest trivia moment came when nobody else was able to come and I was by myself. I ended up winning all five rounds that night, and I won $50 in gift cards. :) I didn't really eat or drink anything that night either, so I ended up taking my parents out to dinner with my gift cards. It felt good to be able to do something like that for them.
Unfortunately I don't go to trivia as much as I used to in the past. The people that I usually play with aren't able to come as often anymore. That's ok. I understand that priorities change in life. It's actually good that I don't go every single week anymore, because I was starting to getting burned out on it.
As I mentioned before, needs something in their lives that is their "thing." I really had trouble writing this post, because I didn't want come across as sounding arrogant or conceited. However, I wanted to talk about my hobby. It truly has given me confidence, and it has given me something to be proud of. I'm very grateful for it.
Voice From the Past
My parents received a call today from my childhood pediatrician. He is 82 now, and he is no longer practicing medicine. He actually called to tell my mother that I really didn't have Spina Bifida...I was just lazy. :) Just kidding, he wanted to get an update on some of his former patients...and their parents.
My parents had a very special relationship with Dr. T. As, I mentioned in a past blog entry about my sister, nobody wanted to treat her when she was born in 1970. Her back was never closed up, and she was sent to an institution because she was a "lost cause."
My parents didn't have an advocate, and they couldn't help my sister. Thankfully, someone ended up recommending Dr. T. to my parents, and my whole family is so grateful for this.
My mom recalls being in his office at the end of the day, after he had seen his last patient that day. My mom and my dad explained what had been going on with Karrie. After seeing the earnestness and sincerity in my parents, Dr. T. believed he could help my sister. He got in contact with a neurologist and convinced him to close her back.
The neurologist actually got her released from the mental institution and performed the surgery. As I have mentioned before, I don't think my sister would have been around for six years--had it not been for her surgery.
My family will forever be indebted to Dr. T. He is a special man, and he will always have a special place in our hearts.
It's funny, I'm 37 now, but Dr. T. asked my mom how "Kevie" was doing. She was happy to report that I was doing great. My parents are actually going to his house in a few days to visit him. He took care of my two siblings and I, and my parents are going to bring lots of pictures of us.
What a great man. :)
My parents had a very special relationship with Dr. T. As, I mentioned in a past blog entry about my sister, nobody wanted to treat her when she was born in 1970. Her back was never closed up, and she was sent to an institution because she was a "lost cause."
My parents didn't have an advocate, and they couldn't help my sister. Thankfully, someone ended up recommending Dr. T. to my parents, and my whole family is so grateful for this.
My mom recalls being in his office at the end of the day, after he had seen his last patient that day. My mom and my dad explained what had been going on with Karrie. After seeing the earnestness and sincerity in my parents, Dr. T. believed he could help my sister. He got in contact with a neurologist and convinced him to close her back.
The neurologist actually got her released from the mental institution and performed the surgery. As I have mentioned before, I don't think my sister would have been around for six years--had it not been for her surgery.
My family will forever be indebted to Dr. T. He is a special man, and he will always have a special place in our hearts.
It's funny, I'm 37 now, but Dr. T. asked my mom how "Kevie" was doing. She was happy to report that I was doing great. My parents are actually going to his house in a few days to visit him. He took care of my two siblings and I, and my parents are going to bring lots of pictures of us.
What a great man. :)
March 19, 2009
Why I am a Centrist/Moderate
I'm not a particularly political person. I try to stay informed of current events, and I am a registered voter, but I'm not the kind of person that always talks about politics. With that being said, I was very interested in our most recent election, and I tried to be receptive to both candidates, throughout the process. I did this for one reason. I am a moderate.
A moderate is a person that is right in the middle between conservative and liberal. The pessimistic person would look at my stance and say that I am indecisive. They would also say that I must not have any strong opinions, because I claim no allegiance to a particular party.
But, I believe that being a moderate is a very good thing, and I really think our world would be much better if more people shared this view. Being a moderate is positive for the following reasons:
1. I am open-minded.
2. I make my decisions based on how they square with my personal beliefs. I don't believe in something just because it is a conservative or liberal belief.
3. I have some beliefs that are more towards to the left, and I have some that are right-leaning.
4. During the election season, I went to see Barack Obama and Bill Clinton at two separate rallies. I was able to get very close to both people, because my disability could get me into some areas that the general public could not. BUT, I was also considering going to the McCain rally, when he was in town. It just didn't work out.
But my point is, I went to the rallies because of the historical significance, and because I wanted to hear what they had to say. I wanted to go see McCain for those two reasons as well. Even though I didn't vote for McCain, in retrospect, I wish I would have been able to see him.
5. I can't stand the egotistical, arrogant, close-minded people that sometimes appear on Conservative media outlets.
6. I can't stand the tree-huggers, and other far-left "nutjobs" that sometimes represent the liberals.
7. I appreciate people that can think for themselves.
8. I like being able to make up my own mindand not follow someone else blindly.
9. I get so tired of the bipartisanship that is rampant in today's politics. If people just got together to work for one common goal--making our country a better place, we could get so much more done.
10. A moderate will always vote for who he/she believes to be the best candidate. Sometimes they may vote Democrat and sometimes Republican. But, it will always be for who they think is the best.
Ok, I'm off of my soapbox. Thanks for listening.
A moderate is a person that is right in the middle between conservative and liberal. The pessimistic person would look at my stance and say that I am indecisive. They would also say that I must not have any strong opinions, because I claim no allegiance to a particular party.
But, I believe that being a moderate is a very good thing, and I really think our world would be much better if more people shared this view. Being a moderate is positive for the following reasons:
1. I am open-minded.
2. I make my decisions based on how they square with my personal beliefs. I don't believe in something just because it is a conservative or liberal belief.
3. I have some beliefs that are more towards to the left, and I have some that are right-leaning.
4. During the election season, I went to see Barack Obama and Bill Clinton at two separate rallies. I was able to get very close to both people, because my disability could get me into some areas that the general public could not. BUT, I was also considering going to the McCain rally, when he was in town. It just didn't work out.
But my point is, I went to the rallies because of the historical significance, and because I wanted to hear what they had to say. I wanted to go see McCain for those two reasons as well. Even though I didn't vote for McCain, in retrospect, I wish I would have been able to see him.
5. I can't stand the egotistical, arrogant, close-minded people that sometimes appear on Conservative media outlets.
6. I can't stand the tree-huggers, and other far-left "nutjobs" that sometimes represent the liberals.
7. I appreciate people that can think for themselves.
8. I like being able to make up my own mindand not follow someone else blindly.
9. I get so tired of the bipartisanship that is rampant in today's politics. If people just got together to work for one common goal--making our country a better place, we could get so much more done.
10. A moderate will always vote for who he/she believes to be the best candidate. Sometimes they may vote Democrat and sometimes Republican. But, it will always be for who they think is the best.
Ok, I'm off of my soapbox. Thanks for listening.
The Way I Write
I have always enjoyed writing. It doesn't matter the reason--be it academic, personal, or otherwise. All of my life I have followed the same procedure whenever I have sat down to write something, and I'm not sure if anyone else does this. I asked my friend Bob about it today, because he does quite a bit of writing. His response to my method, "That's kind of weird, Kevin."
It's important to note that I don't ALWAYS do this, but I do most of the time.
1. I never have anything written down when I sit at the computer. This has proven to bite me in the butt on several occasions when I have lost my work to a bad computer hard drive, etc.
2. Even though I don't have anything written down, I always have a clear idea of what I want to accomplish in my work. So it's not like I go in "blind." I know what I want to say, and I usually have a good idea about how I want to say it.
--This next step is the strange step, according to my friend.
3. I will start a paragraph and do quite a bit of work on it, and then I will, most likely, start another paragraph or two before I finish the first one.
My head is usually full of lots of ideas, phrases, or sentences, and I feel that I must get my ideas down before I forget them. So, in any given paper/blog posting, etc., I may have eight or nine partially completed paragraphs.
4. Then I will go back and complete all of my paragraphs and thoughts. It's at this time that I will add the transitions between paragraphs, and I will do my best to make the whole thing flow. I don't want the reader to know that my work was, at one time, a partially-completed mess.
5. I will read and reread the entire piece, before I am finished with it. I used to be a great speller. In fact, I finished in the Top 5 in St. Louis, back when I was in 7th grade. So I hate to have a submission with a spelling mistake.
6. If everything seems to be ok, I will submit my piece.
So what I do happens to work for me, but it probably wouldn't work for many people.
I have surmised that I must have some form of adult a.d.d, because I can be kind of scatterbrained, and I can go from one hobby or activity to the next.
BTW, after I write this last line, do you know what I'm going to do? It's time for steps five and six. :)
It's important to note that I don't ALWAYS do this, but I do most of the time.
1. I never have anything written down when I sit at the computer. This has proven to bite me in the butt on several occasions when I have lost my work to a bad computer hard drive, etc.
2. Even though I don't have anything written down, I always have a clear idea of what I want to accomplish in my work. So it's not like I go in "blind." I know what I want to say, and I usually have a good idea about how I want to say it.
--This next step is the strange step, according to my friend.
3. I will start a paragraph and do quite a bit of work on it, and then I will, most likely, start another paragraph or two before I finish the first one.
My head is usually full of lots of ideas, phrases, or sentences, and I feel that I must get my ideas down before I forget them. So, in any given paper/blog posting, etc., I may have eight or nine partially completed paragraphs.
4. Then I will go back and complete all of my paragraphs and thoughts. It's at this time that I will add the transitions between paragraphs, and I will do my best to make the whole thing flow. I don't want the reader to know that my work was, at one time, a partially-completed mess.
5. I will read and reread the entire piece, before I am finished with it. I used to be a great speller. In fact, I finished in the Top 5 in St. Louis, back when I was in 7th grade. So I hate to have a submission with a spelling mistake.
6. If everything seems to be ok, I will submit my piece.
So what I do happens to work for me, but it probably wouldn't work for many people.
I have surmised that I must have some form of adult a.d.d, because I can be kind of scatterbrained, and I can go from one hobby or activity to the next.
BTW, after I write this last line, do you know what I'm going to do? It's time for steps five and six. :)
March 18, 2009
Jumbled thoughts
I have had bits and pieces of multiple blog entries in my head for a week or two now, and I have been unable to finish any of them. I'm not sure why this has been the case. But I wanted to do something completely unplanned and stream-of-consciousness for this entry. So take this for what it is--a bunch of random thoughts.
1. I love "March Madness." I'm not a fan of pro basketball at all, but I LOVE college hoops. In fact, the NCAA tournament is my favorite thing in all of sports. I like the whole thing, from filling out my bracket, to first round upsets, to watching that "Cinderella" team go far into the tourney. I know that I'll be glued to the television once the first game tips off.
2. I'm on Spring Break right now, and I'm so thankful. I have some great students, and I'm not particularly stressed at work, but I'm really glad to have a break. I am staying with a great friend of mine that I have known since college. Even though we both live on opposite ends of the state, it has become a tradition for me to stay with him during my break. He's not a teacher, so he does have to work during the day, but we have lots of fun when he's not working.
3. My friend, that I'm staying with, has cable. I haven't had cable for about a year now, and I can't really say that I miss it. I can't believe how many trashy reality shows are on tv now--especially VH1. I actually spent 5 minutes of my life watching a show about Ray J and his quest to find love. That leads me to two questions. Who the hell is Ray J, and why should I care?
4. I am looking forward to this summer, even though I'll (hopefully) be teaching summer school. I taught summer school last year, and it was actually much better than I thought it would be. I don't mind it. The money is pretty good, and I'm still able to spend my afternoons in the pool...or doing other things.
5. I'll probably be going to a couple of concerts this year. I'm an ethical person, but the local concert venue took away an awesome perk that I had been taking advantage of for quite some time. In the past, I would purchase LAWN tickets for a concert, and then get a free upgrade when I reached the venue, because the lawn was not wheelchair-accessible.. So they would always upgrade me and my party to a much better section...at no additional cost. Well, the venue must have realized that most disabled people were doing this, so they made the lawn accessible. :( Oh well, it was a nice ride while it lasted.
6. I went to see a local band on Saturday night with my friend. We got there very early and decided to get a spot in the balcony, so we could see well. For the duration of the concert, I sat on a stool with my wheelchair folded up in front of me. I loved seeing the shocked faces on everyone when I got off the stool and got into the chair. I loved it even more, when they saw me scoot down the stairs with my friend carrying my wheelchair. Of course many of the people were pretty drunk, so that made their reactions even more priceless.
7. I'm feeling very positive about my life now. I've got some health issues figured out, and I feel like my life will continue to get better. Things are good...very good.
8. This is related to #3...why must I need to keep up with the Kardashians?!?!
9. Everyone has songs that they could listen to a million times and not get tired of. Mine are "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns 'N Roses and "The Chair" by George Strait.
10. I procrastinate way too much. In fact, writing this entry has been a way for me to put off an assignment that I should be doing for my grad. class. I'll get back to that soon.
11. I'm VERY EXCITED for a thing at my school called Writers Week. It is actually the subject of one of my blog posts that is in limbo. So, I'll write more later.
12. It bugs me when people say that they don't like a food or drink that they have never tried. How do they know?!? Try it, and then you're allowed to have an opinion. It's like the people that complain about politics, but aren't registered to vote. Register, vote, and then you can bitch and moan!
13. Why do the foods that are so bad for us taste so freakin' good?
14. I used to live my life with plenty of regret and fear, but I'm not doing that anymore. I'm not a "spectator" of my life anymore!
15. This is my last entry so it has to be something profound, important, and relevant. I LIKE CHEESE!
1. I love "March Madness." I'm not a fan of pro basketball at all, but I LOVE college hoops. In fact, the NCAA tournament is my favorite thing in all of sports. I like the whole thing, from filling out my bracket, to first round upsets, to watching that "Cinderella" team go far into the tourney. I know that I'll be glued to the television once the first game tips off.
2. I'm on Spring Break right now, and I'm so thankful. I have some great students, and I'm not particularly stressed at work, but I'm really glad to have a break. I am staying with a great friend of mine that I have known since college. Even though we both live on opposite ends of the state, it has become a tradition for me to stay with him during my break. He's not a teacher, so he does have to work during the day, but we have lots of fun when he's not working.
3. My friend, that I'm staying with, has cable. I haven't had cable for about a year now, and I can't really say that I miss it. I can't believe how many trashy reality shows are on tv now--especially VH1. I actually spent 5 minutes of my life watching a show about Ray J and his quest to find love. That leads me to two questions. Who the hell is Ray J, and why should I care?
4. I am looking forward to this summer, even though I'll (hopefully) be teaching summer school. I taught summer school last year, and it was actually much better than I thought it would be. I don't mind it. The money is pretty good, and I'm still able to spend my afternoons in the pool...or doing other things.
5. I'll probably be going to a couple of concerts this year. I'm an ethical person, but the local concert venue took away an awesome perk that I had been taking advantage of for quite some time. In the past, I would purchase LAWN tickets for a concert, and then get a free upgrade when I reached the venue, because the lawn was not wheelchair-accessible.. So they would always upgrade me and my party to a much better section...at no additional cost. Well, the venue must have realized that most disabled people were doing this, so they made the lawn accessible. :( Oh well, it was a nice ride while it lasted.
6. I went to see a local band on Saturday night with my friend. We got there very early and decided to get a spot in the balcony, so we could see well. For the duration of the concert, I sat on a stool with my wheelchair folded up in front of me. I loved seeing the shocked faces on everyone when I got off the stool and got into the chair. I loved it even more, when they saw me scoot down the stairs with my friend carrying my wheelchair. Of course many of the people were pretty drunk, so that made their reactions even more priceless.
7. I'm feeling very positive about my life now. I've got some health issues figured out, and I feel like my life will continue to get better. Things are good...very good.
8. This is related to #3...why must I need to keep up with the Kardashians?!?!
9. Everyone has songs that they could listen to a million times and not get tired of. Mine are "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns 'N Roses and "The Chair" by George Strait.
10. I procrastinate way too much. In fact, writing this entry has been a way for me to put off an assignment that I should be doing for my grad. class. I'll get back to that soon.
11. I'm VERY EXCITED for a thing at my school called Writers Week. It is actually the subject of one of my blog posts that is in limbo. So, I'll write more later.
12. It bugs me when people say that they don't like a food or drink that they have never tried. How do they know?!? Try it, and then you're allowed to have an opinion. It's like the people that complain about politics, but aren't registered to vote. Register, vote, and then you can bitch and moan!
13. Why do the foods that are so bad for us taste so freakin' good?
14. I used to live my life with plenty of regret and fear, but I'm not doing that anymore. I'm not a "spectator" of my life anymore!
15. This is my last entry so it has to be something profound, important, and relevant. I LIKE CHEESE!
March 11, 2009
"Just Be Yourself"
That simple three-word phrase has been uttered by many people throughout my lifetime. It seems like recently this phrase has been spoken by someone after I have vented to them about my singleness. There are times in my life when I really feel like I will never meet the right person, and then invariably someone will say, "Just be yourself."
Well, I am, at my core, a "nice" guy. The old saying goes that "Nice guys finish last." Well I do believe that to be true, to an extent. But, I'm not going to change who I am, and I just read something that has given me a lot of hope for the future.
I was perusing the Facebook page of a friend of mine, and I decided to take a look at her "25 Random Facts" posting. This posting has been making the rounds lately, and I have really enjoyed learning more about my friends.
I read one fact that intrigued me. In essence she mentioned how she had been engaged twice before, but then she realized that the "bad guy" wasn't going to make her life complete. Then she met her husband, and she realized that a "good guy" would be her soulmate.
Reading that put a huge smile on my face. I know how happy this friend is, and it is nice to know that her husband is a good guy. He's not an asshole or a jerk. Instead he's a great father and a lucky man, because my friend is awesome.
One caveat...I don't want anyone reading this to think that I am just a wimp. There's a difference in being a good, nice guy and being a wimp that gets walked all over. So in typical "guy fashion" I need to puff out my chest and emphasize this point with a story. :)
I went to dinner with a close friend of mine a couple of weeks ago. We weren't at a particularly fancy place, but we did use the valet parking that they had available at the restaurant. After the dinner was over, the valet attendant told us to wait inside, while he went to go get my car.
At this time, a very intoxicated guy came through the front door. He walked behind me, and in the process, stumbled over a part of my wheelchair. It was completely an accident, and I instinctually apologized to him, even though I had not done anything wrong. This guy then shot me a very dirty, pissed off look. He even looked like he was thinking about taking a swing at me.
Now, I have never been in a fight. Sure, I've wrestled with my brother, but who hasn't? But, I have never been in a legitimate fight. However, this guy did not frighten me. I ignored him, because the attendant was approaching with my car, but I was not intimidated.
First of all, I have always believed that if anyone ever messed with me when I was out in public, some random guy would be there to help. It doesn't look good for someone to start a fight with a disabled guy. So, I'm sure that someone would "have my back".
But, I'm also very confident in my upper body strength. I can bench press a large amount of weight, and I am confident that if I ever needed to defend myself, I would be able to. On the drive home, I asked my friend about this, and she told me that she had no doubt that I would have been able to take care of myself.
So...back to my main point. :) I'm going to continue being myself. I'm going to continue to be nice, caring, sweet, funny, intelligent, sarcastic, etc. I've tried the "asshole" thing in the past, and that doesn't work for me.
Thanks to reading my friend's post, I know that I am on the right track. I'm sure that when she wrote her post, she had no idea she was going to affect my life. But she did, and I'm very grateful.
FYI, if you ever see me out, and you trip over my wheelchair, it wasn't my fault. Don't get pissed. :)
Well, I am, at my core, a "nice" guy. The old saying goes that "Nice guys finish last." Well I do believe that to be true, to an extent. But, I'm not going to change who I am, and I just read something that has given me a lot of hope for the future.
I was perusing the Facebook page of a friend of mine, and I decided to take a look at her "25 Random Facts" posting. This posting has been making the rounds lately, and I have really enjoyed learning more about my friends.
I read one fact that intrigued me. In essence she mentioned how she had been engaged twice before, but then she realized that the "bad guy" wasn't going to make her life complete. Then she met her husband, and she realized that a "good guy" would be her soulmate.
Reading that put a huge smile on my face. I know how happy this friend is, and it is nice to know that her husband is a good guy. He's not an asshole or a jerk. Instead he's a great father and a lucky man, because my friend is awesome.
One caveat...I don't want anyone reading this to think that I am just a wimp. There's a difference in being a good, nice guy and being a wimp that gets walked all over. So in typical "guy fashion" I need to puff out my chest and emphasize this point with a story. :)
I went to dinner with a close friend of mine a couple of weeks ago. We weren't at a particularly fancy place, but we did use the valet parking that they had available at the restaurant. After the dinner was over, the valet attendant told us to wait inside, while he went to go get my car.
At this time, a very intoxicated guy came through the front door. He walked behind me, and in the process, stumbled over a part of my wheelchair. It was completely an accident, and I instinctually apologized to him, even though I had not done anything wrong. This guy then shot me a very dirty, pissed off look. He even looked like he was thinking about taking a swing at me.
Now, I have never been in a fight. Sure, I've wrestled with my brother, but who hasn't? But, I have never been in a legitimate fight. However, this guy did not frighten me. I ignored him, because the attendant was approaching with my car, but I was not intimidated.
First of all, I have always believed that if anyone ever messed with me when I was out in public, some random guy would be there to help. It doesn't look good for someone to start a fight with a disabled guy. So, I'm sure that someone would "have my back".
But, I'm also very confident in my upper body strength. I can bench press a large amount of weight, and I am confident that if I ever needed to defend myself, I would be able to. On the drive home, I asked my friend about this, and she told me that she had no doubt that I would have been able to take care of myself.
So...back to my main point. :) I'm going to continue being myself. I'm going to continue to be nice, caring, sweet, funny, intelligent, sarcastic, etc. I've tried the "asshole" thing in the past, and that doesn't work for me.
Thanks to reading my friend's post, I know that I am on the right track. I'm sure that when she wrote her post, she had no idea she was going to affect my life. But she did, and I'm very grateful.
FYI, if you ever see me out, and you trip over my wheelchair, it wasn't my fault. Don't get pissed. :)
March 8, 2009
The Last Piece of the Puzzle
About a year ago, I got REALLY serious about my health. I found Seattle Sutton, which is a program that helps with my meals, and I joined Gold's Gym. I have always LOVED lifting weights, and I really enjoyed spending time in the pool at the gym.
I had, what I believe to be, a lot of success. My clothes were fitting better, and people were starting to notice that my face was thinner, etc. Unfortunately I never had an answer whenever anyone would ask me how much weight I had lost. So I would just estimate, but I was never sure.
That's because I really had no way to weigh myself. I can't sit on a conventional scale and still read the numbers, and I can't sit on a scale that a doctor's office would use. So, I knew that I needed to find a scale that was made for people in wheelchairs. That way I could just roll onto the scale, in my chair.
Unfortunately finding a wheelchair scale in the St. Louis area proved to be harder than I thought. I knew some people that worked as physical and/or occupational therapists, and they were not able to tell me where to find one. Then, I even called the Bariatric (weight loss) Surgery Group at DePaul Hospital. They didn't even have a scale. But I found one yesterday!
I went to visit my grandmother yesterday at a "rehab." nursing facility. She had fallen in her apartment, at her independent living center. She had been hospitalized for a bit, but now her doctor wanted her to rehab. at this place, before he'd let her go back home.
This was my first visit to this facility, so my mom and grandma showed me around. As we were walking around, I noticed a wheelchair scale in an empty room that they used for hair washing, etc. during the week. I could hardly contain my excitement, and I told my mom that I was going to try it out. She wanted to give me some privacy, so she and my grandmother went back to her room.
I got on the scale, and a number popped up. Now, I haven't be able to weigh myself accurately in YEARS. I think the last time that I was able to get weighed was when I was in the hospital 3-4 years ago. But, I had an estimate in my head that I was thinking.
Fortunately, the number that was displayed was reasonably close to my estimate. It was higher, but it was ok.
So now I've got a plan. I'm going to go to this place twice a month to weigh myself. I don't want to do it anymore often than this. But by doing this, I will finally have a way to gauge my progress, and this will help me stay motivated. If I KNOW that I have lost 10 pounds, I'll be more apt to keep going than I've I just FEEL like I've lost SOME weight.
To be honest, I haven't been on Seattle Sutton in a couple of months. It's pretty pricey, and they just recently raised their prices by about 20%. But, I have done some prioritizing, and it is back in the budget.
I've also gotten back in the gym--especially now that the weather is getting better, and I won't have to worry about snow and ice.
So I've got a handle on those two important components. But, most importantly, I finally have a way to quantify my progress, and that will help me to stay motivated and positive. I'm very, very excited.
I had, what I believe to be, a lot of success. My clothes were fitting better, and people were starting to notice that my face was thinner, etc. Unfortunately I never had an answer whenever anyone would ask me how much weight I had lost. So I would just estimate, but I was never sure.
That's because I really had no way to weigh myself. I can't sit on a conventional scale and still read the numbers, and I can't sit on a scale that a doctor's office would use. So, I knew that I needed to find a scale that was made for people in wheelchairs. That way I could just roll onto the scale, in my chair.
Unfortunately finding a wheelchair scale in the St. Louis area proved to be harder than I thought. I knew some people that worked as physical and/or occupational therapists, and they were not able to tell me where to find one. Then, I even called the Bariatric (weight loss) Surgery Group at DePaul Hospital. They didn't even have a scale. But I found one yesterday!
I went to visit my grandmother yesterday at a "rehab." nursing facility. She had fallen in her apartment, at her independent living center. She had been hospitalized for a bit, but now her doctor wanted her to rehab. at this place, before he'd let her go back home.
This was my first visit to this facility, so my mom and grandma showed me around. As we were walking around, I noticed a wheelchair scale in an empty room that they used for hair washing, etc. during the week. I could hardly contain my excitement, and I told my mom that I was going to try it out. She wanted to give me some privacy, so she and my grandmother went back to her room.
I got on the scale, and a number popped up. Now, I haven't be able to weigh myself accurately in YEARS. I think the last time that I was able to get weighed was when I was in the hospital 3-4 years ago. But, I had an estimate in my head that I was thinking.
Fortunately, the number that was displayed was reasonably close to my estimate. It was higher, but it was ok.
So now I've got a plan. I'm going to go to this place twice a month to weigh myself. I don't want to do it anymore often than this. But by doing this, I will finally have a way to gauge my progress, and this will help me stay motivated. If I KNOW that I have lost 10 pounds, I'll be more apt to keep going than I've I just FEEL like I've lost SOME weight.
To be honest, I haven't been on Seattle Sutton in a couple of months. It's pretty pricey, and they just recently raised their prices by about 20%. But, I have done some prioritizing, and it is back in the budget.
I've also gotten back in the gym--especially now that the weather is getting better, and I won't have to worry about snow and ice.
So I've got a handle on those two important components. But, most importantly, I finally have a way to quantify my progress, and that will help me to stay motivated and positive. I'm very, very excited.
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