My Inspiration

I have been told by many people over the years that I am a source of inspiration for them. I'm very thankful that my attitude and perseverance has helped people, but I have to share something that has really changed my perspective and way of thinking.

This past Sunday I was at the finish line, in a cold driving rain, to see my sister and her husband complete a 1/2 marathon and my brother complete the full marathon. I am truly impressed by the dedication and committment they have shown to reach this goal.

I know that their accomplishments took untold hours of training and preparation. They were very focused on the achievement of this goal, and they set their sights on finishing the race. The thing that makes it even more impressive is that they all live full & busy lives, and they didn't let their training affect any other parts of their lives in a negative way.

For example, my sister kept up her training schedule, worked, and took classes toward her Master's degree. My brother trained for his marathon, worked, and he also did his fatherly duties as a dad to two girls, who are both under six. His wife helped him out so he could train as much as he needed, but he still had to fit in his training around the girls...because family comes first.


From L to R--Nick (brother-in-law), Dave (brother), and Erin (sister).



An action shot of Nick and Erin


So how did this affect me? I realized something about myself. I have accomplished a lot in my life, but I tend to "react" to my environment, and I am generally not a goal-setter. Most of my accomplishments stem from a challenge that I was faced with, and I wanted to overcome. If you put a brick wall in my way, I will fight like a dog to either get over it, around it, under it, or smash right through it.

But I give up much too easily with my goals. I tend to make lofty goals, and then say "screw it" when I experience a setback. That's not the fighting spirit that I want to show the world! I'm not sure why this happens, but I have recognized it now.

My brother and I were talking about it, and he gave me some excellent advice. He told me that if his initial goal in running, was to complete a marathon he would never have done it. It's just too daunting. He reminded me of a time when a mutual friend of our's invited him to Tulsa to run in a 15K. At that time my brother turned him down, because he knew that he could not run 9 miles. Now, several years later, he has run 26, and although he looked tired at the finish line on Sunday, he still finished strong.

So I am reassessing my goals, and I'm working on making them more manageable. For example, I have been thinking a lot about my crutches lately. I haven't even really used them since 1996. So my goal is to start using them more. Instead of trying to focus on getting back to the stamina that I once had, I'm going to focus on being able to stand on my crutches for 15 seconds, then 30, and so on. These goals are achievable, and whenever I get frustrated, I won't say "screw it."

I'm also going to remember something else I heard from my brother. He talked to me, about how he had to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. There were times during his race when he had to take a break and walk. But he didn't stop moving or give up. He walked for a bit, got his energy back, and continued on his path toward his goal.

So my three family members have provided me with a huge gift. They have shown me what is possible when you set achievable goals, and you just keep striving to reach them. Tonight I stood on my crutches for a whopping 8 seconds...but hey that's over halfway to my first goal! :)

My Night of Insomnia

I had a lot of time to think while I was waiting. I looked around the sterile, cold walls of my surroundings, and I was numb and emotionally spent. The news of the previous day, coupled with all of the other crap, was more than I could deal with. I had been here too many times before--or rather, I had been to places like this before. I was weary of it all, and I just wondered when it was going to be someone else's turn. I was tired of being the guy that was always in the hospital.

Normally, I loved Christmas, but here it was just a few days before Christmas of 1990, and I was angry, frustrated, and very depressed. I had been through so much in the four years prior to that moment, and I could feel the my psyche was teetering dangerously close to the edge.

I had been from doctor to doctor, all the while hoping to find someone who would be able to fix my problem. The standard operating procedure for my life from 1986 to that very point, followed this pattern: I would go to a specialist, and he would tell me that he “thought” that he could help me, and he would “try” his best to fix it. Then, I would have a painful surgery, which was ALWAYS followed by a painful and long recovery. After a couple of months I would come to the disheartening realization that this operation hadn't worked, and then I would either have another surgery with that same doctor, or I would start the process again with another doctor. At this moment in my life, I was on my 5th doctor.

My newest doctor was an arrogant and cocky jerk. In fact, I couldn't stand him. But, he had assured me with his unmitigated smugness that he was going to be able to fix me. He didn't use words like “try” and he didn't tell me that he “thought” he could help me. I appreciated his confidence, but I wasn't convinced. I had trusted doctors before, and it had only led to more pain, both physical and emotional.

So why was I in the hospital in the first place? It all started with one of my favorite activities in the world—swimming. One summer day in 1986, I went swimming at my grandparent's pool at the Lake of the Ozarks. I had spent countless hours of my youth in that pool without incident. But, one seemingly insignificant occurrence was to forever change the course of my life.

I am a “monoplegic,” and that means that one of my limbs is paralyzed. So my right leg is essentially useless to me, but I have perfect control of my left leg. But the great thing about the water is that I don't need crutches or a wheelchair, because the water keeps me buoyant.

That's why my love of water is almost spiritual in a sense. It allows me to be just like everyone else for that brief moment that I am in that aquatic dreamworld. But as soon as I get out of the pool, I'm back to reality.

So that day, I was swimming in their pool, and I ended up dragging the top of my left foot on the bottom of the pool. I'm not sure why I did that, because I usually walk with a normal gait when I am in the pool. But I happened to drag my foot this time. The bottom of the pool happened to be a little rough, so it gave the top of my foot a mild abrasion. My left foot is actually my “good” foot, so I did feel it when it happened, but it didn't hurt. As I said, it was merely a little scrape.

The next day I made a horrible decision, and with hindsight being 20/20, I can only imagine what my life would have been like had I not made this error in judgment. My family and I went swimming again, but this time we went swimming in the actual lake, itself. We put a band-aid on my scrape, and we enjoyed our afternoon in the water.

About a week later I noticed that my foot was starting to hurt, and that my scrape was not healing. In fact, it looked like it was getting worse. Then soon after that, I noticed that I was developing the signs of infection.

I'm going to gloss over and consolidate the next part, because it is quite detailed and graphic. But, this tiny little scrape grew into a RAGING infection in my foot, and I had a very serious nonhealing wound. So, I went to see my first doctor.

This just started the chain of events that I referenced earlier. I went from specialist to specialist, and I endured some very severe surgeries. I am so thankful for my parents, because most of the post-surgical care that I had to do could only be done with the help of my mom and dad. With my limited mobility, they were able to do things to my foot that I could not do, and I'm so thankful that they were there.

It was at that time when I transitioned from being ambulatory and on my crutches, to being in the wheelchair. It just hurt too much to walk on my foot. Besides, the doctors wanted me to keep weight off the foot, if possible. I would still use the crutches from time-to-time, but the switchover had essentially begun.

So back to me waiting in the hospital room. I had been waiting for some important news from the doctor. His plan to “fix” my foot included doing some intensive vascular surgery on my foot. He had me come into the hospital a day early so I could have a medical test done to assess the circulation and blood flow in my foot and lower leg. So the results of this test were very important to me and the success of the surgery.

When the doctor finally entered my hospital room, I could tell that something was amiss. He didn't have his usual swagger. In fact, he was very close to showing actual human compassion. He said the words that I still remember, 18 ½ years later. “Kevin, the results of the test aren't good. Your blood flow is not what we were hoping for. I'm going to do my best to avoid this, but I wanted to let you know that there is a possibility that I'll have to amputate your leg, below-the-knee during the surgery.”

I felt that I had been kicked in the chest by a team of mules. I didn't know what to say. I mean, this was my GOOD FOOT and GOOD LEG. I did everything with this leg, and my independence was clearly dependent on it.

My parents also had a stunned look on their faces, and the doctor assured us that he didn't think he would have to amputate. He was going to do everything in his power to keep that from happening, but he wanted us to know that there was a chance. He then left the room and went home.

We sat in stunned silence for awhile. Collectively, my parents and I had been through so much during those last four years, and we didn't quite know what to say. My parents said that they were sure that everything was going to be alright, and I really do think that they believed that...but I didn't.

They stayed until visiting hours were over, and then they said their goodbyes. Thus began, the worst night of sleep that I have ever had. I started thinking about how my life was going to be so different, if I didn't have my left leg. I used my left leg for driving, and really everything as far as my mobility was concerned. I tried to think about how I was going to transfer in and out of my chair without using my legs..and only my arms. Try it yourself, it's close to impossible.

Besides that stressor, I was still reeling from some news that I had heard the day before. I was extremely involved in my high school youth group, and the people in the group were some of my best friends. I got a call from one of my friends in the group, and he asked if he could come visit me in my hospital room. I told him that I had a medical test scheduled for later on in the day, but he was welcome to come before it.

I was extremely surprised when EVERYONE from my youth group came streaming into my room....everyone, save for one. My friends went on to tell me that my friend Beth had died in a house fire that morning. Her parents and brother had made it out alive, but she couldn't get out of her room. I didn't know what to say, but I cried and shared the moment with all of my special friends that were there.

After they left, I had a strange realization. Everyone that I loved was in my home, while I was stuck in this hospital room. I felt utterly helpless. I started to think about how something awful could happen to my family, and I was going to be left alone. The mind plays tricks on you when you have too much time to think.

So that night before the surgery, my head was full of worry. I was worried about myself. I was worried about my family's safety. I was worried about Beth's family. You name it...I thought about it that night. I think I drifted off to sleep at about 4:30 that morning.

I was woken up early, because my surgery had been scheduled for early in the morning. I remember kissing and hugging my parents goodbye and being whisked to the operating room.

I was still very nervous, but fortunately the anesthesia did its trick, and I was able to start to relax. I drifted off to sleep, and then I awoke to choking. I had a very hard time waking up from the anesthesia and my oxygen level got a little low, so they kept me in recovery for a long time.

Once the cobwebs in my head started to clear out, I realized that I needed to find out about my leg. I had a sheet covering my lower half and through the sheet I saw the outline of TWO legs. I lifted up the sheet and saw a glorious sight...my leg. The foot and ankle were heavily bandaged, but it was there! And I was thrilled.

When I got back to my room, my parents were happy but they looked like they had something serious to tell me. They proceeded to tell me that the infection was too bad in parts of my foot, and the doctor had to amputate three of my toes. I was a little bit shocked, but only for about five minutes. I could live with the fact that I could no longer count to 20 on my fingers and toes. I had two legs...that's all that mattered.

I went through another long and arduous recovery, but I had a different result this time. This surgery actually worked!! I had finally found a doctor, cocky arrogant asshole that he was, that was able to help me.

It's now 18 years after the surgery, and I can honestly say that it feels like it all happened yesterday. I have had a few MINOR issues with my foot since then, but everything has been great.

I'm still a little self-conscious about my foot, and there are only a few select people in my life who have seen it. But, I can live with a deformed foot. I take care of it, and I will NEVER go swimming with bare feet again. I always wear a swim shoe or boot.

This was honestly one of the worst times in my life. But all of the pain and tears were worth it. This one incident has served as a reminder to me to always keep searching. If I would have been content to live with an infected foot, I would have never searched for a fifth doctor. So, that's what drives me. It's this moment in my life that I call upon to keep going.

A Break-up Story

You lean silently in the darkened corner,
steadfast, but still so very alone.
Quick staccato-like glances are all I can muster.
The guilt keeps me from giving you the respect you deserve;
the respect you have earned.

Like an aging Hollywood starlet,
time has made you faded, weathered, and worn.
Your best days are behind you,
but you still ache for one more chance.
Why won't I give it to you?!?!

I have abandoned you;
discarding you like some trinket of my youth.
But you're more than a Star Wars figure or Etch-a-Sketch.
You ARE my past;
and I long for you to be my future.

You were there for the milestones;
like every holiday and special moment.
But I miss the mundane days;
like Mondays and Thursdays
more than you'll ever know.

You're in every old snapshot;
never as a featured player,
only as support....your favorite role.
Who knew a lazy summer day,
would start to tear us apart?

Eventually someone else entered my life;
you know how those things go.
But I would still use you,
when the other was too broken or deflated,
to be of use to me.

Now I see that your replacement has lied to me,
and made me too dependent.
I need you back in my life;
if I am to grow and thrive;
and be greater than what I am now.

I wish it could happen now,
but I lack the strength.
But I promise that someday soon,
you'll be in my life again..
My support...my strength...my crutches

================================================================================

When I was younger I used to use my crutches all of the time. Now, I have become too dependent on the wheelchair, and I need to get healthy enough to use the crutches again. That's why I wrote the poem.

An Open Letter to all Prospective Teachers

Congratulations! You have chosen a very rewarding profession, and I'm sure that you will enter your first teaching job with vigor and enthusiasm. I trust that your schooling has prepared you well, with regard to lesson planning, differentiated instruction, and all of the other buzzwords of today. But, I wanted to share some items with you that you have not been taught in school. I hope that these tips will be helpful to you during your career.

"The bad kid is never sick." As a teacher you will encounter some students that live to cause problems for you. It's a fact of life. Unfortunately most of these students will NEVER be absent. It's as though they possess some superhuman germ-fighting capabilities. I won't admit to it, but you might find yourself switching the seating chart and putting your snotty, sneezy, finger-up-the-nose student next to this "picture of health" in hopes that your snot-factory will inflict some collateral damage. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

"You will gain all kinds of knowledge." Through my years of teaching, I have learned things that I never thought I would ever learn. For example, in my circle of friends, I am the one that knows all of the latest slang terms. Many years ago, I was the first person in my group to hear the term "bling-bling," so I shared that information with my friends. Apparently they were a little too excited and used their newfound phrase A LOT. Unfortunately, their wives didn't see the humor in it.

"Some of that knowledge will never leave, ever." I taught middle school for the first ten years of my teaching career, and through osmosis, I have acquired knowledge...scary knowledge. I hate to admit this in a public forum, but I used to know the first and last names of every member of the Backstreet Boys and 'Nsync. Ok, here's a confession. I STILL know this stupid information. I have tried for years to get rid of this knowledge, by shoving new facts and figures in my head--all the while hoping that this useless information will somehow fall to the wayside. NOPE, it's with my for life.

"Pick your battles." This tip can be used for SO MANY facets of teaching, but I'll give you one specific example. DO NOT try to teach something worthwhile on the day before an extended break. Now, I'm not saying that you should give your students a free day, but I'm just saying that there are limitations to what you can accomplish on that day. If, however, you are brave and full of moxie, and you decide to teach an important lesson on that day, you have been warned. You'll find the experience to be about as much fun as trying to give a cat a pill...and you'll be about as successful.

"You will develop super-sonic selective hearing." If my students are working on a project or assignment, I typically don't mind if they talk quietly to the people around them. I have found that I can tune out MOST of what they are saying, but if someone in my class says one of the "magic" words, my ears will instantly perk up and notice it. It's uncanny.

"The students are also armed with this hearing." You can tell the students 27 times about a test on Friday, and invariably several students will come in the class on Friday and claim that they knew nothing about the test. But, you can face an empty corner and whisper a sentence fragment about a pizza party, and then have a kid say two weeks later, "Mr. K. didn't you say something about a pizza party?"

"Be prepared for emergencies." You might have the greatest lesson plan in the world all ready to go...I mean this sucker is so good that it should be enshrined in the "hall." Then you show up at school and find out that your computers are down, copies didn't get finished in time, etc. As a teacher, you need to have a contingency plan. I have found that it is helpful to keep a portable puppet show somewhere in your classroom. I'm kiddng, or am I?

"You will learn the skills necessary to become a bouncer." Most people that work in the corporate world never have to worry about a fistfight breaking out in the middle of the office, but as a teacher this is an inevitability. At some point in your teaching career, you will have to break up a fight. Now I don't recommend getting involved, because your main job will be crowd control. However, if you feel comfortable breaking up the fight, find what works for you and do it. For me personally, I have found that if I accidentally-on purpose roll over the feet of the people involved in the fight, they will stop right away. That's one advantage of a wheelchair, I guess. :)

"Students will forget things over a three-day weekend." My students all have individual passwords to access the computers. The strangest thing is that they will be able to remember their passwords from a Friday to the following Monday, but the extra 24 hours of a three-day weekend will erase their brain. That's why I keep a copy of every one of their passwords, because a huge portion of them will forget. And don't even get me started about what happens after we get back from Spring Break. :)

"Don't let them distract you." If you are sitting at your desk and student comes over and stands DIRECTLY in front of your desk, it is probably innocent. However, if they start up a pointless conversation, this is huge red flag. Immediately look beyond this student, but be prepared for what you might see. Once you get past this "human shield" you will probably see something that will violate a school rule. So while, you are disciplining that student, just put a positive spin on it. At least they were working together on something.

"You want your students to apply your knowledge outside of the classroom...most of the time." At the middle school that I was at, the students would have a 3-on-3 basketball tournament. The championship game was always a big deal, and the students had to purchase tickets beforehand to attend the game. One year, it was discovered that a couple of students had bought up all of the remaining tickets for the game, and they were selling them to their fellow students at a profit. Yep, those were my students, and yep we had just studied "profit" in my business class. So I was both disappointed and proud at the same time, and that is a hard thing to do.

I have spent a lot of time giving out lighthearted tips, but I do have some serious things that I do want to say. There are quite a few things that I could share, but I will limit my tips to three very important ones.

"Be a role model." Many of your students are surrounded by negative people and situations. The hour that they spend in your classroom might be the most positive hour of their day. It is your responsibility to make sure that you have a strong character, and that they can look up to you. You need to show them that there are good people in the world, and that you do care about them and their success.

"Realize that there is a reason for strange behavior." If a kid NEVER falls asleep in your classroom, but they suddenly did today, don't react with anger. Find out why they were sleeping. Chances are they have something really stressful going at home. By recognizing their behavior as being out-of-character, you might be able to help them with whatever they have going on.

"If you don't love it...GET OUT." Let's face it, teaching is not for everyone. Unfortunately many people go through four years of college and student teaching before they realize that teaching is not what they should do in life. Even worse though, are the people that hate being a teacher, and they choose to stay in the profession. If it is not something you love to do, do everyone a favor, and find another line of work.

Teaching is a wonderful job, but in order to be successful at it, it needs to more than a job. It must be a passion. Don't ever forget that.

Ed Turner (1933-2009)

To Jeannie he was scrambled eggs and toast;
just Table 25.
To Patrick he was his first soccer coach,
when he was only five.

To Kathy he was mean Mr. Turner;
the neighbor from her youth.
To Steven he was a superhero;
defender of the truth.

To Beth he was known as her sternest boss;
always with a sour face.
To Rob he was the Sunday School teacher;
who told him of God's grace.

To Barb he was her guardian angel,
the day he saved her son.
To Mike he was simply his best friend's dad;
known as the dad who's fun.

To Nurse Linda he was just a patient;
after his heart attack.
To Johnny he was the army buddy,
who always had his back.

But to Evelyn he was so much more;
husband, lover...best friend.
To John & Lauren he was always Dad,
up to that painful end.

We can never be completely certain
of what we leave behind.
But words and deeds serve as our legacy;
and always are entwined.

We all can impact so many people,
in this fleeting, fast life.
What side of you will you will you show to others;
kindness, respect, or strife?


--I don't usually look at obituaries, but I was inspired by the notion that people are so much more than just a 1-paragraph entry in the local paper. So I created a character, and I gave him a life.

Things I've Learned

1. If you are waiting for someone to come along and make you complete, you'll always be incomplete...and you'll always be waiting.

2. Pick your battles. One casualty is too many, if the fight is not worth fighting.

3. Your words are not attached to a yo-yo. Once they're out there, you can't flick your wrist and draw them back in.

4. Trust your intuition. It's there for a reason.

5. Understand that the degree of importance and excitement you place on something will NEVER be able to be matched by those around you. Don't take this as a sign that they do not care...they do.

6. If you make a mistake, admit to it. That's why the sentence for perjury is often worse than the sentence for the original crime.

7. If you want a different result, you need to change the equation. Two plus two will ALWAYS equal four.

8. Enjoy the here and now. Living for the future is not really living at all.

9. You come equipped with a giant bag of tools for the obstacles in life. Sometimes you just have to dig a little deeper in the bag to find the right tool.

10. Become the most important person in MORE than one person's life.

11. A true friend will be there to love and support you, but they won't think twice about pointing out when you have been a jerk.

12. Some things will NEVER make sense. Accept that fact and go on.

13. Wishing for what you don't have will only make you forget about what you ALREADY have.

14. Spiderman and Superman do not exist, but there are everday superheroes all around. You just have to look.

15. It's often easy to forgive, but sometimes it's impossible to forget.

16. You have no control over the beginning and end of your story, but you are the sole author of the middle.

17. Remember that one time when you laughed so hard that milk came out of your nose? Call upon that in the dark moments of life.

18. You are not like everyone else. That's a good thing.

19. No matter how hard you try and hope and pray...you cannot change your past.

20. Never make excuses or be embarrassed for who you truly are.

When Words are Not Enough

There are things in our lives that we just accept as facts. Most of these things are items that we don't even given a second thought to, and they just become part of our "story." Friday night I had my eyes opened, and I was able to view a part of my life's story in a different way. Consequently, I am filled with more love and respect for my parents than I have EVER felt in my whole life.

A little over a week ago, my parents received a call from my childhood pediatrician. He is 82 now, and he retired from practicing medicine many years ago. He told my parents that he still had my old medical records, and he wanted my parents to have the file. He also wanted to find out how "Kevie" was doing. It's funny, I'm 37 now, but I'll always be Kevie to him.

My parents went over to his house last week and picked up my records. They had a wonderful talk with Dr. T., and they were able to fill him in on my life and the lives of my siblings. He did so much for my family, and I know that my parents enjoyed being able to see him again, after so many years.

My parents are currently out-of-town, so I have been staying at their house, dogsitting and housesitting. This past Friday night I sat at their kitchen table to look at my medicial file. Seated at my feet were Rudy and Scout, my two favorite dogs.

As you can probably imagine, my file was very thick, but I was interested in the whole thing. I tried to read about all of my visits to his office for the usual childhood ailments, or numerous kidney problems, but I was unable to make out his handwritten notes, due to his "unique" penmanship.

Fortunately, I was able to read all of the typed medical reports, letters, and correspondence between the different doctors that I saw as a child. These documents were so interesting to me, because I learned more about my disability, but more importantly I FINALLY realized just how special my parents were, and still are.

As I have mentioned in my blog posting about my sister Karrie, I had a sister with a much worse form of Spina Bifida. She was born in September of 1970, and I was born in December of 1971. I have always "known" that, but after taking a "peek" into their day-to-day lives in those medical reports, I now realize just how difficult and trying those times were for my parents.

I read, with tears welling up in my eyes, about all of the physical therapy that my mom had to perform on each one of us. I read about all of the things that my dad had to do with us as well, and I was just overcome with emotion. Now, I completely understand why my parents have always said that the early 70's were a complete blur to them.

I am not a parent, and I can't pretend to understand how difficult it is to raise a child. But most people only have to care for one healthy baby at a time. My parents had to raise TWO disabled children that were only a year apart.

One of the things that really spoke to me when I read my file was how much "work" went into my care...and I was the "healthy" one out of the two of us! My sister's disability was so much worse than mine, and I can't even imagine all of the time and effort that went into her care.

I could go on and on, but I need to get to the title of my blog posting. As I was reading my file, I realized that I needed to do something to honor my parents and show them how much I appreciated, loved, honored, and respected them. I'm going to show them this blog entry, but that's not enough. I have to do SOMETHING, because right now my words are not enough to express how I feel.

I'm not sure what I'll do, but whatever it will be, it will pale in comparison to all that they have done for me. But I wrote this blog tonight to give my feelings a public forum. I'm proud to say that my parents have been married for 41 years now, and I believe that they will be together for life.

They've had their ups and downs, but who hasn't? But their marriage has survived the death of a child and numerous other tragedies. I don't know if I'll ever get marrried, but if I do, I have a wonderful pair of role models to look at, in my parents.

Can it Be?

I see something,
far off in the distance.
It appears as only a shimmer and a twinkle;
a pulsating display of light.
Can it be?

I trudge onward,
and with each step,
I feel my pulse elevate and my pace quicken.
This feels strangely familiar.
Can it be?

I am boundless in my energy,
as I encounter a stream that must be forded.
I cross it, for I know what awaits me
will be worth any Herculean effort.
Can it be?

I don't even notice the obstacles that block my path;
my resolve is unwavering.
I suddenly stumble, but I do not quit.
Just then, I see IT...what I've come here for.
Can it be?

I approach with caution,
and it is even more majestic than before.
I see two bejeweled treasure chests;
one emblazoned with an "H" and the other with a "D."
Can it be?

I search frantically for a key--a way to get inside,
but I have no such luck.
I bash open each chest with a rock,
and visions are projected against the night sky.
Can it be?

I gaze at the visions, and see things.
Things familiar and foreign at the same time.
I smile, for this is why I am here.
This is why I have made this arduous journey yet again.
Can it be?

I watch this display hover along the ether.
My mouth is agape, and my eyes sparkle with wonder.
I am watching my hopes and dreams;
in a cinematic display custom-made for me.
Can it be?

I see my future and all that I desire.
Suddenly, my eyes observe a new part of the display.
I see that all of my past obstacles, trials & tribulations
appear to be but a speck in this astral projection of dreams.
Can it be?

I hear a jarring, familiar sound, and I try to ignore it.
But it gets louder with each beat of my heart.
I know what it is, but I hope I'm wrong this time.
This is not fair. I want a different ending!
It can't be!

I try to focus back on the night sky.
Unfortunately the chests are closed and locked again.
I can no longer watch this astral fantasy,
and must attend to this sound...this alarm.
It can't be!

I open up my eyes and gaze at my alarm clock.
'So I had that dream again,' I mutter to myself.
I reflect on what I can remember,
but this time seems very different.
Can it be?

I cycle through the images in my mind's eye.
These crystal-clear snapshots of my future.
I realize that my setbacks have brought me squarely to this point,
and a sudden wave of peace and serenity flows through my body.
Can it be?

I am left with complete assurance.
Complete assurance for my future.
I know that the next time I see these heavenly visions,
they will be part of my reality...and not a dream.
Can it be? YES IT CAN.

We Never Stop Learning

I'm not artistic. I believe that I've mentioned that before in this blog. However, one of the courses that I teach is artistic in nature. I've never understood why my ex dept. chair wanted me to teach this class, but it has actually worked out well.

It has worked out well, because I "get" the software that we use in the class. I know it inside and out, but there always been one particular task that I have never been able to figure out how to do in this program. I've actually spent HOURS trying to figure out this answer.

So yesterday I presented this problem to my students. I told them that the first person to figure out how to do this would get a coupon to TGIFriday's for a free appetizer. Incidentally, I had been trying to think of a way to give away these coupons, that I had won at a trivia night several months ago. So this seemed perfect.

TWO MINUTES later, a student called me over because he thought he had figured it out. Sure enough, he had! I gladly gave him a coupon, and then I went over to another student that had her hand up. She had also figured out how to do it...but with a completely different method! So she got a coupon as well. :)

But that just showed me that I can never stop learning from my students. I always want to be receptive to them, and I never want to become arrogant or complacent.

Now I just need to win more coupons. :) Who knows what else I can figure out?!?