An Open Letter to all Prospective Teachers

Congratulations! You have chosen a very rewarding profession, and I'm sure that you will enter your first teaching job with vigor and enthusiasm. I trust that your schooling has prepared you well, with regard to lesson planning, differentiated instruction, and all of the other buzzwords of today. But, I wanted to share some items with you that you have not been taught in school. I hope that these tips will be helpful to you during your career.

"The bad kid is never sick." As a teacher you will encounter some students that live to cause problems for you. It's a fact of life. Unfortunately most of these students will NEVER be absent. It's as though they possess some superhuman germ-fighting capabilities. I won't admit to it, but you might find yourself switching the seating chart and putting your snotty, sneezy, finger-up-the-nose student next to this "picture of health" in hopes that your snot-factory will inflict some collateral damage. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

"You will gain all kinds of knowledge." Through my years of teaching, I have learned things that I never thought I would ever learn. For example, in my circle of friends, I am the one that knows all of the latest slang terms. Many years ago, I was the first person in my group to hear the term "bling-bling," so I shared that information with my friends. Apparently they were a little too excited and used their newfound phrase A LOT. Unfortunately, their wives didn't see the humor in it.

"Some of that knowledge will never leave, ever." I taught middle school for the first ten years of my teaching career, and through osmosis, I have acquired knowledge...scary knowledge. I hate to admit this in a public forum, but I used to know the first and last names of every member of the Backstreet Boys and 'Nsync. Ok, here's a confession. I STILL know this stupid information. I have tried for years to get rid of this knowledge, by shoving new facts and figures in my head--all the while hoping that this useless information will somehow fall to the wayside. NOPE, it's with my for life.

"Pick your battles." This tip can be used for SO MANY facets of teaching, but I'll give you one specific example. DO NOT try to teach something worthwhile on the day before an extended break. Now, I'm not saying that you should give your students a free day, but I'm just saying that there are limitations to what you can accomplish on that day. If, however, you are brave and full of moxie, and you decide to teach an important lesson on that day, you have been warned. You'll find the experience to be about as much fun as trying to give a cat a pill...and you'll be about as successful.

"You will develop super-sonic selective hearing." If my students are working on a project or assignment, I typically don't mind if they talk quietly to the people around them. I have found that I can tune out MOST of what they are saying, but if someone in my class says one of the "magic" words, my ears will instantly perk up and notice it. It's uncanny.

"The students are also armed with this hearing." You can tell the students 27 times about a test on Friday, and invariably several students will come in the class on Friday and claim that they knew nothing about the test. But, you can face an empty corner and whisper a sentence fragment about a pizza party, and then have a kid say two weeks later, "Mr. K. didn't you say something about a pizza party?"

"Be prepared for emergencies." You might have the greatest lesson plan in the world all ready to go...I mean this sucker is so good that it should be enshrined in the "hall." Then you show up at school and find out that your computers are down, copies didn't get finished in time, etc. As a teacher, you need to have a contingency plan. I have found that it is helpful to keep a portable puppet show somewhere in your classroom. I'm kiddng, or am I?

"You will learn the skills necessary to become a bouncer." Most people that work in the corporate world never have to worry about a fistfight breaking out in the middle of the office, but as a teacher this is an inevitability. At some point in your teaching career, you will have to break up a fight. Now I don't recommend getting involved, because your main job will be crowd control. However, if you feel comfortable breaking up the fight, find what works for you and do it. For me personally, I have found that if I accidentally-on purpose roll over the feet of the people involved in the fight, they will stop right away. That's one advantage of a wheelchair, I guess. :)

"Students will forget things over a three-day weekend." My students all have individual passwords to access the computers. The strangest thing is that they will be able to remember their passwords from a Friday to the following Monday, but the extra 24 hours of a three-day weekend will erase their brain. That's why I keep a copy of every one of their passwords, because a huge portion of them will forget. And don't even get me started about what happens after we get back from Spring Break. :)

"Don't let them distract you." If you are sitting at your desk and student comes over and stands DIRECTLY in front of your desk, it is probably innocent. However, if they start up a pointless conversation, this is huge red flag. Immediately look beyond this student, but be prepared for what you might see. Once you get past this "human shield" you will probably see something that will violate a school rule. So while, you are disciplining that student, just put a positive spin on it. At least they were working together on something.

"You want your students to apply your knowledge outside of the classroom...most of the time." At the middle school that I was at, the students would have a 3-on-3 basketball tournament. The championship game was always a big deal, and the students had to purchase tickets beforehand to attend the game. One year, it was discovered that a couple of students had bought up all of the remaining tickets for the game, and they were selling them to their fellow students at a profit. Yep, those were my students, and yep we had just studied "profit" in my business class. So I was both disappointed and proud at the same time, and that is a hard thing to do.

I have spent a lot of time giving out lighthearted tips, but I do have some serious things that I do want to say. There are quite a few things that I could share, but I will limit my tips to three very important ones.

"Be a role model." Many of your students are surrounded by negative people and situations. The hour that they spend in your classroom might be the most positive hour of their day. It is your responsibility to make sure that you have a strong character, and that they can look up to you. You need to show them that there are good people in the world, and that you do care about them and their success.

"Realize that there is a reason for strange behavior." If a kid NEVER falls asleep in your classroom, but they suddenly did today, don't react with anger. Find out why they were sleeping. Chances are they have something really stressful going at home. By recognizing their behavior as being out-of-character, you might be able to help them with whatever they have going on.

"If you don't love it...GET OUT." Let's face it, teaching is not for everyone. Unfortunately many people go through four years of college and student teaching before they realize that teaching is not what they should do in life. Even worse though, are the people that hate being a teacher, and they choose to stay in the profession. If it is not something you love to do, do everyone a favor, and find another line of work.

Teaching is a wonderful job, but in order to be successful at it, it needs to more than a job. It must be a passion. Don't ever forget that.