December 12, 2010

Available....But Not Looking

I have written many blog posts about dating and loneliness, in the past. The issue used to keep me up at night, and I would get sad about my singleness. Fortunately, as a result of some big life lessons, I no longer feel this way. I am content with my life.

Back in January, I dealt with some very scary health issues. I won't take the time to rehash the specifics, because I have already chronicled the ordeal in a previous blog post. But, the whole experience has been life-changing for me, and it has really caused me to reexamine my choices and feelings.

I used to have very low self-esteem, but this trial has helped me to realize that I do matter, and I need to treat myself with love and respect. I wasn't loving myself by gorging my body full of crappy food. Sure, it tasted great, but the fulfillment that I received from the gluttony was fleeting at best.

By loving myself, I have made some great strides in my life. I would love to report that I have dropped tons of weight since my hospitalization, but sadly that isn't the case. The weight has come off, but much more slowly than I want. What I am happy about is that my blood pressure is normal, and my diabetes has all but disappeared.

Even though I have been concentrating on myself as-of-late, that doesn't mean that I have completely stopped admiring the opposite sex. That part of me will never change. I'm just not fixated on trying to find a mate, and I'm concentrating more on making myself the best possible person that I can be.

After all, I may never get married and find a mate. But, I am stuck with myself for the rest of my life. I might as well make "me" the best possible "me" that I can be.

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