A Sobering Start...

I know that it has been quite awhile since I last updated my blog. I'd like to have some great excuse; like I was on a month-long trip of Europe. But, I wasn't, and I don't have an excuse. I have just had a huge case of writer's block. But, I knew that the right topic would "find" me, and it would thrust me back into the blogworld.

NOTE: This is yet another serious topic. I'm actually a really fun person. I love to laugh, and I appreciate all kinds of humor--especially crude, juvenile humor. That's why "The Hangover" was my favorite movie that I have seen in a very long time...but I digress. This is a serious topic, but it won't set the tone of future blog entries.

Today was our first day back at school. This summer has flown by, and I can't believe that we are back. We are back a little bit earlier than usual, because the bigwigs have decided to get a lot of our Professional Development activities out-of-the-way, at the beginning of the school year. I actually like this idea, because it will keep us from having SO MANY 1/2 days, like we have had in the past.

We started out our morning, hearing a talk from Dr. Adolph Brown, III. He spoke to us last year, and he was very well-received then. So he was invited back. What he spoke to us about today relates well to the point of my entry, but I'll reference it, in just a bit.

When we got back to the school, we had an all-staff meeting. We talked about a lot of topics, but one of them blindsided me. Joe, our principal informed us that THREE students had passed away during this short summer. He told us, because he wanted us to be aware that many students would just be finding out about these deaths on the first day of school.

He read the first two names, and I, fortunately, did not recognize either one of these students. I'm not belittling their deaths, I'm just happy that I didn't have a personal connection. However, when he read the third name, I was stunned. The girl that he had mentioned was one of my summer school students, and I had just seen her...less than two weeks ago.

Summer school is a different kind of environment than the traditional school year. Each class is a 2 1/2 hour block, and the class sizes tend to be a little smaller. So I really got to know my summer school students really well. So that's what made this student's death so difficult.

I don't know why this student passed away, but through some internet research, I am led to believe that she took her own life. I went to her myspace page, and I saw comments from her friends that said things like 'I wish you would have realized how much we all loved you." These kinds of comments sadden me greatly.

Dr. Brown, today's guest speaker, talked about building relationships with students. This is my 14th year of teaching, and I have heard this kind of information MANY TIMES before. In fact, I have always prided myself on letting my students know that I do care about them. I treat ALL of my students with kindness and compassion. But I can always do more.

I never knew that this student was hurting. I wish I would have given her an outlet (a writing assingment, etc.) for her to express her pain. Unfortunately, I was teaching Personal Finance, and I didn't really focus on self-expression. But, her death has made me realize that I MUST find a way to let them express their emotions in EVERY class that I teach.

So her death has allowed me to take a step back and realize that I must focus on building relationships with my students this year...and from this point forward. I'm proud of what I have accomplished so far, but I'm going to incorporate more activities that will allow students to let me know what is going on their heads. If a student is hurting, I want them to feel comfortable enough with me, so they can let me in their world.

I have lots of goals for the upcoming school year, but this is my number-one goal. It really should be the most important goal for every teacher. Our students deserve that from us.